Okay, let’s have a contest. What’s the stupidest thing someone has EVER said to you (sure, sure, it was well-meaning)?
We’ve all been there, trekking through a really hard time when maybe it feels like you can’t get one foot in front of the other. Or maybe you’re finally having a good day, and someone says something stupid. Like, really REALLY realllly stupid.
Perhaps they said it to encourage you or to give you perspective or whatever. This isn’t really a place for pity or bashing. But, I want to open a space for talking about when people say things that hurt.
Context helps, though.
On Making Any “Wild” Decisions Ever
“You’re not going to be so young with tight skin forever.”
“When are you going to do real life?”
“You’ll drop out of school, get pregnant, and start doing drugs.”
“Honey, everything sags. You might want to rethink that.”
On Being Single
“You’re single? But you’re so pretty!”
“Well, if you’d just lose weight, a guy might notice you.”
“Lower your standards.”
“Maybe you should filter yourself a bit more…you know, be nicer.”
“He’ll come when you least expect it.”
“Are you, you know, LGBT?” Offensive on SO many levels. [update 1/16/2017: assuming anything about anyone’s sexuality (based on relationship status or lack thereof) is inappropriate.]
On Breaking Up
“He/she just wasn’t the one for you.”
“S/he wasn’t good enough for you.”
“You’ll get over her/him.”
“He/she was stupid for breaking up with you.”
“She/he wasn’t worthy of you.”
****Don’t say any of these unless you hear the person experiencing the break up say it. They’re such easy words that slip out, and yet, they are SO unhelpful.
On Being Pretty
“But you’re pretty. You can’t be sad.”
“You just have good DNA.”
“Well, aren’t you pleased that someone’s noticing, even if it’s a catcall? You should be honored.”
“No one looks at me when you’re around.”
Obviously, there are a lot of things wrong with these statements. I think the biggest bad of these quotes are the assumptions that people are making about you when they say them.
People say really stupid things.